Hello, dear friend!
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where someone is pushing for a decision that just doesn’t sit right? Maybe you’ve noticed some subtle red flags but brushed them off because they seemed charming or trustworthy. Well, that’s exactly what financial con artists count on—gaining your trust while subtly manipulating you into decisions that benefit them, at your expense.
What’s surprising is that intelligent women are often the most vulnerable, because they believe they’re too savvy to fall for these tricks. But it’s that very confidence that manipulators exploit. They rely on you feeling secure and thinking you’re fully equipped to handle the situation—right until they catch you off guard.
Why This Matters: Financial Manipulation Will Affect Your Future More than You Know!
For women in their 20s, 30s, and 40s, building financial independence is essential. Whether you’re saving for your future, starting a business, buying a home, or simply trying to live comfortably, every financial decision you make today impacts your tomorrow! A financial manipulator can derail years of hard work with just a few well-placed lies and manipulative tactics. And when emotions get tangled up in relationships, the risks—and losses—can be even greater.
I have to mention that manipulators aren’t always romantic partners. They can be anyone in your surroundings—family members, friends, or even colleagues. Don’t worry though, I’m here to help you spot these financial predators. By the end of this blog, you’ll have the tools and awareness you need to protect yourself from these smooth-talking scammers. So, grab your favorite snack, get comfy, and let’s jump right in!
10 Red Flags of a Con Artist
Let’s dive into the 10 biggest red flags to help you identify and protect yourself from financial manipulators.
1. Promises of Quick, Easy Money
If someone promises you a fast track to wealth or massive returns with little to no risk, RUN ASAP! These types of offers often lead to devastating financial consequences, with victims sometimes losing their entire life savings. Imagine that?? All these sacrifices to hand them over to some crook! Financial manipulators thrive on exploiting people’s desire for quick riches, knowing full well that most legitimate investments involve some level of risk and time to grow.
For instance, in the infamous Bernie Madoff Ponzi scheme, investors were lured by promises of steady, guaranteed returns—many in the range of 10-12% annually—without regard for market conditions. This resulted in a total loss of $65 billion, with many losing their retirement funds and life savings. A genuine investment will never guarantee outsized returns with no risk—risk and reward are intrinsically linked in finance.
The average return on long-term, stable investments like the S&P 500 has been around 7-10% annually over time, but this includes fluctuations, risk, and patience. Investments that promise much more without the accompanying volatility are often misleading at best, and fraudulent at worst.
As Warren Buffett puts it: “You only find out who is swimming naked when the tide goes out.” This refers to how risky or fraudulent investments tend to collapse when financial markets or circumstances change. Quick-money schemes may look solid at first, but they unravel when financial pressures arise—leaving investors high and dry.
Tip: If it sounds too good to be true, it very likely is. Legitimate investments require patience, strategy, and come with risks. Be especially cautious if someone pressures you to invest without understanding the full picture. ALWAYS do your homework, consult a financial advisor, and steer clear of any opportunity that guarantees extraordinary returns without any downside.
Get Rich Quick? Get Out Fast.
2. Inconsistent or Changing Stories
When someone can’t keep their story straight, it’s a clear warning sign. Often, a financial manipulator will get tangled up in their own lies, offering conflicting details about their job, background, or financial situation. These inconsistencies aren’t always intentional distractions—they happen because they can’t keep up with their own fabrications. The really skilled manipulators may not slip up on the details, but you’ll still sense that something’s off.
I once met a master manipulator who had a strange tick—he would touch his nose excessively when he lied. At the time, I didn’t realize what was happening, but when the truth eventually came out (as it always does), I looked back and realized that every time he “played” with his nose, he was spinning a lie! It was a subtle, unconscious giveaway that I only connected after the fact.
As the Bible says in Luke 8:17, “For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open.” No matter how good a liar someone is, the truth eventually comes to light.
Tip: Trust Your Gut—if someone’s story feels inconsistent or small details don’t match up, take that as a red flag. Even if they don’t slip up on the details, their behavior might reveal something isn’t right.
Whether it’s a change in the details or subtle body language like fidgeting, touching a body part, or displaying different facial expression, be on the lookout for the small signs that something bigger might be going on.
Shifty Stories, Hidden Agendas.
3. Pressure to Decide Now
Con artists often thrive on creating a false sense of urgency. They’ll claim that a deal will expire or you’ll miss out on an amazing opportunity if you don’t act immediately. This rush to get you to make a quick decision—especially when it involves your finances—is a major red flag. They rely on panic and impulse, knowing that under pressure, people are less likely to think critically or seek advice.
This tactic is nothing new. In fact, Proverbs 21:5 offers timeless wisdom on this very issue:
“The plans of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to poverty.”
This verse warns against making hasty decisions, which can lead to financial and emotional losses. Rushing into decisions, especially under pressure, is usually a path to regret.
Tip: ALWAYS give yourself time to think things over. If someone is truly offering you a great opportunity, they’ll respect your need to take time and consider it. A pushy approach should always be a warning sign, not a reason to act. When in doubt, step back, pray, and seek wise counsel before making a choice.
I mean, really. Why such a rush? Because scammers know that a pressured decision is often a poorly thought-out one. Don’t let their urgency become your problem. God’s guidance and your intuition will never lead you astray—don’t let anyone rush you into a choice that doesn’t sit right in your spirit.
Fast Talk, Fast Scam.
4. Asking for Personal Info Too Soon
One of the clearest red flags is when someone you’ve only just begun dating or befriending asks for personal financial details like your credit card number, social security information, or even favors like co-signing on loans. Trust takes time (many seasons) to build, and rushing into financial decisions early on—before trust is established—can lead to catastrophic consequences.
Remember, no real relationship should pressure you into sharing sensitive information.
As the philosopher Confucius once said, “The cautious seldom err.” Taking your time and being cautious about whom you trust with your personal or financial information is not just wise, it’s a necessity. If someone respects you, they will understand your need for security and patience.
Tip: Healthy relationships prioritize emotional connection and mutual respect over rushing into financial commitments. If someone is pushing for financial access or information too soon, take it as a serious red flag and slow down. Building trust is a marathon, not a race.
Too Close, Too Soon.
5. Love Bombs and False Riches
Be cautious if someone showers you with excessive flattery or makes you feel like you’re “the one” too quickly. Scammers often use charm to lower your defenses and build an emotional attachment before moving in for financial favors.
This can also come in the form of extravagant gifts or grand gestures, making you think they’re wealthy. But don’t be fooled! Someone living beyond their means (like a millionaire pretending to be a billionaire) can be even more dangerous than someone who appears to have limited resources.
Make no mistake: They may be drowning in debt while pretending to live large, and they could drain you financially in the process.
As the Bible reminds us in Proverbs 13:7, “One person pretends to be rich, yet has nothing; another pretends to be poor, yet has great wealth.” Appearances can be deceiving, and wisdom comes in seeing beyond the surface.
Don’t confuse lavish affection or wealth displays with genuine care. Protect your heart and your wallet.
Love Bomb = Scam Bomb.
6. Using Guilt to Manipulate You
Manipulators often play on your emotions, trying to make you feel guilty or responsible for their problems. Phrases like “If you really loved me, you’d do this” or “I thought you trusted me” are classic tactics designed to pressure you into ignoring your better judgment.
Guilt is their weapon of choice, used to twist your empathy into obligation.
As Dr. Henry Cloud, a renowned psychologist and author, said: “Boundaries are not about saying ‘no’ to others; they are about saying ‘yes’ to yourself and your values.” Manipulators push you to ignore those boundaries, but standing firm is an act of self-respect.
Don’t let someone else’s emotional manipulation lead you to compromise your values or financial well-being. Trust is earned, not coerced.
Watch out for guilt traps!
7. Avoiding Transparency
If someone is secretive, vague, or evasive about what they need money for and can’t provide clear answers, it’s a significant red flag. They’re likely hiding something, and if transparency isn’t present in small matters, it won’t be there in bigger ones either.
In a healthy relationship, open communication is key. They should be able to answer your questions with clarity and provide proof of their claims if necessary. Trust isn’t built on mystery—it’s built on mutual honesty. Transparency is a non-negotiable foundation in both relationships and finances.
As Warren Buffett wisely said: “Honesty is a very expensive gift. Don’t expect it from cheap people.” If someone can’t be upfront with you, they don’t deserve your trust—or your money.
They’re keeping secrets? Keep your wallet closed.
8. Playing on Your Good Nature
Manipulators often prey on your kindness, sense of duty, or people-pleasing tendencies, making you feel guilty for even questioning their motives. They’ll say things like, “You’re the only one who can help me,” coercing you into overlooking red flags. But remember, trust is earned, not forced—and genuine love never manipulates or guilts you into decisions that can harm you.
You may be familiar with the saying, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” shared by Jesus in Mark 12:31. This doesn’t mean sacrificing your well-being for someone who doesn’t have your best interests at heart. It means first loving yourself, and then extending that love to others. Wasting time, energy, and finances on the wrong man only keeps you from your God-given purpose and the man meant for you.
Too often, we seek love from a man instead of nurturing love within ourselves. But here’s the truth: men—both good and not-so-good—respect a woman who respects herself. They admire a woman with boundaries, values, and a backbone. They might try to exploit your kindness, but deep down, they value someone who holds her ground.
As Oprah Winfrey said: “You teach people how to treat you by what you allow, what you stop, and what you reinforce.”
Tip: Protect your heart, your finances, and your path toward your true purpose.
So, my friend, be kind, but don’t be blind.
9. Pushing to Bypass Rules
Con artists thrive on bypassing rules and taking shortcuts. They might insist that things like credit checks, inspections, or legal reviews are unnecessary, saying things like, “We don’t have time for that,” or “It’s just a formality, no need for the hassle.”. But here’s the truth: responsible people follow the rules; scammers try to skip them to avoid scrutiny.
Responsible people follow the proper steps because rules and checks are in place for your protection. If someone is rushing you to cut corners, they’re not just ignoring the details—they’re trying to trap you.
As C.S. Lewis once said, “Integrity is doing the right thing, even when no one is watching.”
If they want you to skip the rules, skip the deal.
10. Isolating You from Trusted Advice
One of the most dangerous tactics a scammer will use is isolation. They’ll try to cut you off from friends, family, or anyone who could give you an objective perspective. Their goal? To make sure you rely solely on them, making it easier for them to manipulate your decisions.
Always be cautious if someone discourages you from seeking advice or makes you feel like only they understand you. True love and respect embrace trusted opinions from those who care about you.
As Maya Angelou said, “A person who loves you isn’t going to isolate you from your family or friends. They’re going to encourage you to be with those people.”
Don’t Decide Alone—Phone a trusted friend or consult WiseHema.com for expert advice!
Practical Tips for Building Financial Independence
Let’s pivot for a moment and focus on strengthening your financial independence, because the most effective defense against manipulation is to be empowered in your own financial choices! Just a quick note—I’m not a financial advisor, but these are some tips that I’ve found helpful and empowering to share! Do your research please!
1. Build a Rock-Solid Emergency Fund
Your emergency fund is your first line of defense. Aim to save three to six months’ worth of living expenses in a separate, easily accessible account. This fund will act as your safety net if life throws unexpected expenses your way or someone attempts to drain your resources. A strong emergency fund provides peace of mind, letting you weather financial storms on your own terms.
2. Master Your Budget and Stick to It
Creating and maintaining a budget isn’t just about managing daily expenses—it’s about shaping your financial future. Use budgeting apps or a good old spreadsheet to track your income, spending, and set clear savings goals. Remember, every dollar you track brings you one step closer to full financial control. Your budget is the foundation of your financial freedom, helping you avoid emotional or impulsive spending.
3. Safeguard Your Credit Like Gold
Your credit score reflects your financial reputation. Regularly check your credit report to spot any suspicious activity early. Don’t let anyone—partner or otherwise—compromise your credit score with risky decisions. Guard it closely, as it’s a critical asset in your financial journey. A solid credit score not only opens doors but also keeps you in control of your financial destiny.
4. Invest in Yourself—Your Greatest Asset
One of the most valuable investments you can make is in yourself. Whether it’s enhancing your education, advancing your career, or focusing on personal growth, these efforts will boost your earning potential and confidence. Investing in yourself means gaining the skills and independence to secure your financial future—so you won’t need to rely on anyone else.
Empowering Advice for Relationships and Money
For women in their 20s, 30s, and 40s, relationships can be exciting, fulfilling, and—sometimes—complex. When love and money mix, things can get tricky. Here’s some advice to keep your finances secure while enjoying a healthy relationship:
1. Communicate Clearly About Finances
Don’t shy away from talking about money. Financial transparency is key in any long-term relationship. If your partner avoids these conversations, it could be a sign of trouble down the road.
2. Maintain Some Financial Independence
Even if you’re in a committed relationship, it’s smart to maintain your own bank account and savings. Shared accounts are fine for mutual expenses, but always keep some finances separate to protect yourself.
3. Trust Your Intuition
If something feels off, it probably is. Whether it’s in a new relationship or a long-term one, trust your instincts when it comes to financial decisions.
Bonus: Resources to Help You Stay Financially Empowered
Books:
- “The Gift of Fear” by Gavin de Becker
- “Emotional Blackmail” by Susan Forward
- “Boundaries in Dating” by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend
Final Thoughts
You’ve probably heard the saying: “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” (Proverbs 4:23, NIV) Well, let me add: Guard your wallet and your credit too!
Relationships should lift you up, not tear you down—or worse, drain your bank account. If someone’s affection comes with pressure tactics, hidden motives, or requests for financial favors, it’s not love—it’s manipulation.
Trust your gut and stay smart. A partner who truly values you will respect all your boundaries—including your financial ones. If a situation feels rushed, shady, or too good to be true, pause and seek a second opinion—whether it’s from a trusted friend or from Wise Hema!
You’ve got this, girl! Protect your credit, protect your wallet, and most importantly, protect your peace.
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For more personalized advice and support, visit WiseHema.com. Wise Hema offers 24/7 guidance at an affordable rate to help you navigate life’s challenges with confidence.
If you found this blog helpful, check out the quiz: Recognize and Protect Yourself from Master Manipulators to arm yourself with the tools and insights to stay vigilant and trust your intuition!
Stay strong, stay wise, and always trust yourself!
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