No Regrets! Patty Pat’s Top 10 Best Tips Learned the Hard Way

Do you ever find yourself looking in the mirror and thinking, “I could have done so much better”?

On the outside, you might seem like you’ve got everything under control, but deep down, there’s that nagging feeling of what could have been. We all have moments where we wish we could rewind and make different choices. But instead of carrying that weight around, what if we flipped the script and focused on what we can do from today onward?

Grab your popcorn or your favorite snack and stay with me! You’ll see where I’m going with this shortly. A while back, I stumbled upon a thought-provoking question that made me rethink EVERYTHING:

“Imagine having a conversation with your future self at 100 years old. What advice do you think your future self would give you about living your life from today until you make it to your final days to ensure you die with no regrets?”

Not what you would change last year or 10 years ago; those days are gone and they’re never coming back. It’s about the choices you make from this moment on, from TODAY until then.

When I pondered this, it shook me to my core.

I thought, “Wait a minute! I’m 40 years old now. If I turn my life around and start making the right choices today, and I live until I’m 80, that gives me another 40 years to do things right! I can create a life I’m proud of. Who cares about past mistakes or other’s opinions? People will judge you no matter what you do, so you might as well follow your heart and do what you feel called to do!”

That realization was incredibly liberating! It set me on a path to completely transform my life, and I want to share that experience with you.

The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying

Many of us find ourselves going through the motions of life, with each day blending into the next, often feeling like we’re on autopilot. Our daily routines can feel repetitive and exhausting, leaving little room for genuine connection or fulfillment. This sense of purposelessness can be overwhelming, making it easy to lose sight of what truly matters.

As we reflect on our lives, we can learn from the common regrets shared by people at the end of their journeys. In her insightful book, “Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing,” Bronnie Ware, a former palliative care nurse, recounts the recurring regrets her patients expressed. Here are the five most common:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

• This was the most common regret of all.
• When people realized that their life was almost over, they had a clearer perspective of their past. they could see how many dreams went unfulfilled.

• Most people had not accomplished a fraction of their dreams and they had to die knowing that it was due to choices they made or didn’t make, often influenced by others’ expectations.

2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

• Many deeply regretted missing out on their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship.
• They wished they hadn’t spent so much time on the treadmill of work at the expense of their personal lives.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

• Many suppressed their feelings to please or buy their peace with others.
• As a result, they often settled for an ordinary or mediocre existence and never became who they could’ve been.
• Many developed illnesses related to the bitterness and resentment they carried.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

• Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let great friendships slip by over the years.
• There were deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort they deserved.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

• This was a surprisingly common one. Many patients did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice.
• Sticking to comfort zones and old habits often kept people from truly enjoying life. They stayed in their comfort zone because that required the least amount of effort to survive.
• Fear of change had them pretending to others and to themselves that they were content. When deep down inside, they longed to dream, laugh, and have silliness in their life again.

Patty Pat’s 10 Tips for a Life with No Regrets

Are you ready to transform your life and live without regrets? Let me share with you 10 life-changing tips that have made a significant difference for me. These strategies have been game-changers, helping me to live in ways I never imagined. Stick around till the end, because I’ve saved the two most powerful tips for last!

1. Be your most authentic self.

• We often face pressure from those around us, even those who love us, to conform to their expectations. It’s easy to feel guilty and fall into this trap. Remember, you are the one who will live with the consequences of your choices, not them.
• You are uniquely qualified to be yourself—no one else on earth can do it better!
• So, embrace your true self, love yourself, and make decisions that bring you the most happiness (as long as they don’t harm others).

2. Nurture your relationships.

• Make time for your family and friends. In the end, what truly matters is love and relationships.
• There is nothing more gratifying than serving those around you—whether it’s your loved ones or your community.

3. Maintain healthy eating and exercise habits.

• You only have one body — take care of it!
• Start by improving your eating habits, read up on nutrition it, and consider joining a nutrition program.
• Incorporate moving every day: take a walk, follow free workout videos online, join a gym, or hire a personal trainer if possible.
• Your future self will thank you for the effort you put in today!

4. Live within your means, avoid financial burdens!

• • Stop spending on material things you don’t need!
  • Create a budget and start saving for significant goals like a house, a dream trip, or paying off your debts.
  • Contribute to a tax-free investment portfolio to plan for a pleasant retirement.

• Spending beyond your means only adds unnecessary stress to your life. It’s not worth it!

5. Start therapy sessions to finally resolve your recurring and unhealthy patterns.

• If you have experienced any form of trauma, take steps to break the cycle now.
• Ensure that generational toxic patterns end with you.
• Practice journaling, meditation, and prioritize your mental, emotional, and spiritual health!

6. Eliminate all toxic relationships!

• • Toxic relationships do not add value to your life; they drain your energy and block you from stepping into your future.
  • Surround yourself with positive, encouraging and uplifting people who believe in you and want to see you succeed.

• You might think, “I can’t eliminate them—they’re family.” I’m sorry, I respectfully have to say that it doesn’t matter. If you can’t completely cut them off, create boundaries to protect yourself. I suspect your future self would encourage you not to be a punching bag for anybody. Furthermore, these individuals won’t be by your side when it matters most, and even if they were, you wouldn’t want them to be! Choose peace and quiet over their negative presence. Say goodbye!

7. Learn how to say NO!

• Many of us struggle with saying NO, often overworking ourselves to help and please others. This can lead to severe burnout and even depression.
• Your body will give you warnings when it’s time to slow down. Ignoring these signs can result in serious health issues. Listen to your body and take these warnings seriously.
• Make self-care a priority. When you feel the smallest hint of exhaustion, stop, rest, and recharge. Learn to recognize your limits and respect them!
• Learn how to say NO when you’re over-solicited. Saying NO to demands that aren’t aligned with your priorities allows you to say YES to yourself, to your health, and to your loved ones who truly need you. Remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup. Prioritize your well-being so you can be there for others in a meaningful way.
• Saying NO is not selfish; it’s necessary for maintaining balance and preventing burnout. Embrace the power of NO and give yourself the permission to prioritize your own needs and well-being!

8. You will be judged but do it all anyway!

• When you start making positive changes in your life, you might face mockery and misunderstanding from others:

• “Why are you writing that book? Who’s going to read it?”
• “Why are you back in school? You’re a grown adult and graduated years ago!”
• “Why are you saving money? Life’s short — let’s live it up now!”
• “You’re acting different. I liked you better before your transformation.” (What they really mean is: they preferred you when you were a people pleaser, easily manipulable, and always available.)

• What others think of you should be the last thing on your mind.

• Living your truth and following your passions is worth more than any fleeting approval from others.
• Embrace your journey, no matter how unconventional it may seem to others. Your fulfillment and happiness are what truly matter.
• You will be judged whether you pursue your dreams or not, so don’t hold back!

9. Be grateful

• According to neuroscientist Alex Korb, it is impossible to focus on positive and negative feelings simultaneously. When we feel grateful, our brains release dopamine (the reward chemical), encouraging us to seek out that feeling again, thereby making gratitude a habit.
• Practicing gratitude has so many benefits, including improved mental health, better sleep, and enhanced relationships. It shifts your focus from what you lack to the abundance you already have!
• I experienced a significant positive shift in my life when I started journaling daily. Using techniques like Future-Self Journaling from psychologist Nicole LePera, I found that consistent gratitude practice transformed my outlook and overall well-being. The benefits of gratitude are so profound that they deserve an entire blog post of their own!
• My tip for you: Start a journal if you haven’t already. To get started, write down 21 things you’re grateful for right now in your life. Each day, begin by listing 10 things you’re grateful for before writing about anything else on your mind. This practice will help you start your day on a positive note and gradually cultivate a mindset of gratitude.
• Incorporating gratitude into your daily routine can have a profound impact on your mental and emotional well-being. Give it a try and see the difference it makes!

10. Surrender to God!

• In my darkest and loneliest hours, when I had the choice to continue my toxic patterns or try something new, I decided to “try out Jesus.” It was Him or nothingness, really. I’m so grateful that God saved me and brought me into His light (Hallelujah!).
• Reflecting on the power of surrender, I am reminded of the story of Paul (formerly Saul). Saul, who once relentlessly persecuted Christians, had a transformative encounter with Jesus. Struck blind and humbled, Saul surrendered his life to Christ and became Paul, one of the most influential apostles in spreading the Gospel. Don’t worry about him, he ended up getting his sight back!
• This story resonates deeply with me because it shows that no matter how lost we may feel, surrendering our lives to Jesus can lead to profound transformation and redemption. The old me is gone. The new creation emerged when I fully trusted God with my life. Holding onto “control” never brought me peace, but surrendering to God did. I trust Him to make sense of all the non-sense. And He never fails. He is always with me.
• One of my favorite scriptures is 1 Corinthians 15:9-10, where Paul says, “For I am the least of the apostles and do not even deserve to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God. But by the grace of God, I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect. No, I worked harder than all of them—yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me.”
• This passage reminds us that it’s not our past that defines us but the grace of God that transforms us. Surrendering to God means letting go of our fears, our need for control, and our past mistakes, and embracing the new life only He can offer.
• Trust in God’s plan for you, and you’ll find a peace and purpose that surpasses all understanding. Your future self will thank you for making this life-changing decision.

Conclusion

These insights are not just reflections on what could have been—they’re a call to action for us to live our lives with intention and joy. So, take a moment to think about what you can change today to avoid these common regrets. Embrace your dreams, prioritize your loved ones, express your true feelings, cherish your friendships, and choose happiness every day.

Your life is your own, and the time to start living it authentically is NOW. Don’t wait until it’s too late to make the changes that will bring you true happiness and fulfillment.

You owe it to yourself to live a life without regrets. Imagine looking back at your life with pride and contentment, knowing you lived it to the fullest. Take the steps today to ensure your future self is happy and satisfied when you take your last breath.

You still have time.

You have the power to change your life.

Do it all while you still can!

***

For personalized guidance on how to live a life with no regrets, ask Hema AI at WiseHema.com! You’ll be amazed at the help you receive. Try Hema AI for a three-day completely free trial. If you find it helpful, you can continue for just $4.99 USD per month, with the flexibility to cancel at any time.

Alternatively, if you prefer to get my free personal thoughts and advice, send me a letter through my website right here. I’d be happy to read your letter and feature my response on my “To Run Or Not To Run” Show!

If you found this blog helpful, consider taking our Self Care Assessment quiz, How Well Do You Take Care of Yourself? to further empower yourself with the knowledge and tools needed to stay vigilant and trust your intuition.

Take care of yourself!