Have you ever had that gut feeling, that little voice inside warning you that someone wasn’t quite right? Maybe it was about a relationship, a friendship, or even a colleague. I know I did— growing up, my intuition was always on point. However, as I grew older, I found myself ignoring my inner voice, rationalizing my way into continuing relationships that deep down, I knew were not the plan of the Lord for my life. I would come up with reasons to stay, telling myself it would get better or that I was overthinking things. But each time, I ended up hurt, realizing that if I had just listened to that inner warning, I could have saved myself a lot of time, resources and heartache.
Imagine if we had a guide back then, a set of rules to help us navigate these tricky waters. Well, that’s exactly what this blog is—a guide for you, who has ever ignored your intuition and ended up regretting it. If you’ve ever second-guessed yourself or stayed in situations that drained your energy, this is for you. Let’s dive into the ten types of people you need to avoid AT ALL COSTS to protect your peace, joy, and well-being.
Ladies, before we jump into this essential guide, grab your favorite drink, a cozy blanket, and settle in. This is going to be eye-opening!
1. The Energy Sappers
Have you ever been around someone who seems to drain the life out of you? The moment you leave their presence or hang up the phone, you feel completely depleted, as if your energy has been siphoned from 85% to a mere 15%. These are the people who, with their negative energy, bring you down, sap your enthusiasm, and leave you feeling exhausted both emotionally and mentally.
Energy sappers thrive on negativity, complaining, and dragging others into their emotional vortex. Their presence is like a dark cloud that hovers over your head, overshadowing your hopes and dreams. They may not always do this intentionally, but their constant pessimism and lack of motivation can wear you down, making it harder to focus on your goals and aspirations. Avoid them at all costs!
Seek out: Energy Zappers— those who uplift you, encourage you, and who are full of positive vibes! They leave you feeling inspired, rejuvenated, and ready to conquer the world! They believe in you, push you to be your best self, and help you envision and achieve bigger dreams. They will fill your cup rather than drain it, motivate you to grow, and light up your life. They are your true allies in the pursuit of success and happiness.
Quote: “People inspire you, or they drain you—pick them wisely.” — Hans F. Hansen
2. The Negative Ones
Do you know someone who always predicts the worst-case scenario? These are the dream killers—the ones who thrive on negativity and drag others down with them. They’ll flood you with reasons why your goals are unattainable, casting shadows on your aspirations and feeding your fears.
Negativity permeates their lives, not just during rough patches, but as a never-ending recurring theme. Instead of helping you overcome obstacles, they’ll create more, undermining your efforts and leaving you feeling defeated. And when you fail or encounter difficulties, they’re quick to say, “I told you so,” draining your motivation and dampening your spirit!
Seek out: Visionaries—people who see possibilities where others see pitfalls. These are the ones who encourage you to take calculated risks, embrace challenges, and view setbacks as stepping stones to success. They’re the sunshine in your life, illuminating paths that were once hidden and helping you soar above hurdles.
Surround yourself with positive, open-minded individuals who believe in your potential and will propel you forward. They understand that life’s obstacles are just part of the journey, and they’ll help you navigate them with grace and resilience. Remember, your circle should lift you up, not pull you down!
Scripture: “Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character.” – Apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 15:33
Scripture: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – God in Jeremiah 29:11
3. The Time Wasters / Distraction Masters
They may seem harmless and friendly, but beware! These are the individuals who want to hang out with you, constantly check in with “Hello Beautiful” messages, or chat endlessly about nothing of substance. While their intentions might not be malicious, their impact on your productivity and focus can be significant. You might find yourself caught up in trivial conversations or activities that consume precious time—time that could have been spent working towards your goals, nurturing meaningful relationships, or pursuing your God-given purpose.
The real danger with time wasters is that they often don’t realize the impact of their behavior. They may genuinely enjoy your company, but their lack of direction or purpose can pull you off course. Time is one of the most valuable assets you have, and how you spend it determines the quality of your life. Instead of getting caught up in distractions, focus on surrounding yourself with people who respect your time and inspire you to stay on track.
For the single women who are waiting on the right man God has planned for them: Engaging with time wasters, such as exes or unworthy suitors, out of loneliness may seem harmless, but it can severely derail your journey. Entertaining these distractions while waiting for your husband can kill your blessings, leaving you entangled in the wrong associations instead of being available for the good man God has prepared for you. Remember, time is precious, and wasting it with the wrong people can cause you to miss your connecting flight with your God-given man! Stay on your path, stay focused, and trust that God’s timing is perfect (even if He feels extremely slow at times). He will deliver if you stay the course.
Seek out: Purpose-Driven Companions—people who respect your time, add value to your life, and support your goals. These individuals understand the importance of time and will help you stay focused on your path.
Quote 1: “Beware the barrenness of a busy life.” – Socrates
Quote 2: “The wrong man will waste your time and block your blessings! Don’t settle for less when God has something greater in store for you!” – Patty Pat
Quote 3: “Every moment with a time waster is a moment lost on your journey to the man truly meant for you.” – Patty Pat
4. The Gossipers and Critics
Those who come to you to gossip about others are the same people who will air out all your personal information to others. Individuals who have enough time and energy to criticize others should be avoided. I’ve yet to meet someone who is busy living their best life and still has time to bad-mouth others. Gossipers thrive on drama and negativity, using your words as fuel for their fire. If they are comfortable discussing someone else’s flaws and secrets with you, be certain they’ll do the same with your private matters when you’re not around.
These people often drag down your energy and create an atmosphere of distrust and division. Being around them can make you feel uneasy, constantly second-guessing who you can trust. Instead of fostering positive, uplifting conversations, they sow seeds of discord that can harm relationships and reputations.
Seek out: People with Integrity—those who are so focused on their own goals and living purposefully that they don’t have time to tear others down. These are individuals who value discretion, uplift others, and invest their time in building themselves and those around them.
Quote 1: “Don’t be distracted by criticism. Remember—the only taste of success some people have is when they take a bite out of you.” – Zig Ziglar
Quote 2: “Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice.” – Steve Jobs
Scripture: “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” (Jesus Christ of Nazareth in Matthew 7:3-5, NIV)
I can say no more. (Just dropped my mic, hahahaha!).
5. The Manipulators
Manipulators are some of the most dangerous and invasive people you could ever meet. They use psychological tactics to control and exploit others for their own gain, often cloaking their intentions with charm and charisma. This can make it difficult to see their true colors, but once you know what to look for, you can spot them from a mile away.
If you want to protect yourself from their influence, the first step is to become aware and recognize the glaring red flags. These individuals don’t have your best interests at heart. They only get close to learn your secrets and may use whatever personal information they have against you at the slightest provocation or disagreement.
For a deeper dive into their tactics and how to safeguard yourself, check out my detailed blog on the subject: Is He a Master Manipulator?
Seek out: Authentic Souls—those who are honest, straightforward, and genuinely care about your well-being.
Quote: “The only way to outsmart a manipulator is to see through their game and run the other way without hesitation.” – Patty Pat
6. The Dictators
Dictators are the people in your life who believe they have the right to control your decisions and actions. Whether they are relatives, colleagues, or friends, they often think they know better about how you should live your life—who you should marry, what job you should have, or how you should spend your money. They feel entitled to dictate your choices, and when you don’t comply, they experience disappointment, hurt, or even betrayal.
It’s essential to remind these people that while you appreciate their advice, you are the captain of your ship. You will make the final call on how you live your life because you are the one who will deal with the consequences of your actions. Ultimately, you are accountable to God and no one else.
Seek out: Supportive Advisors—those who offer advice and guidance without imposing their will on you. They understand that your life journey is your own, and they respect your autonomy.
Scripture: “Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.” – Apostle Paul in 2 Corinthians 3:17
Quote 1: “You are the author of your own life story, so write it well and edit often.” – Unknown
Quote 2: “Don’t let someone else’s opinion of you become your reality.” – Les Brown
7. The Leeches
Leeches are people who only seek to take from you, draining your energy, time, and resources without ever giving back. They are benefit seekers who rarely add value to others. These individuals often disguise themselves with flattery, distractions, or even gifts—all in an effort to mask their true intentions. They drain you emotionally and physically, leaving you feeling depleted and used.
Leeches are never satisfied with what they have or where they are in life. Their desire for more, often at the expense of others, knows no bounds. You might offer them a full pie, but they won’t stop until they’ve taken your pie as well!
Just like energy sappers, leeches leave you feeling empty and exhausted. Protect yourself by setting boundaries and prioritizing relationships that are mutually beneficial.
Seek out: Givers—those who pour into your life, uplift you, and encourage your growth. Surround yourself with people who want to see you thrive and succeed.
Quote: “Surround yourself with people who make you better, not people who make you bitter.” — Unknown
8. The Jealous/Envious Ones
These are people to avoid at all costs. They don’t want what’s best for you—they want what you have, and not in a flattering or admiring way. Their envy is destructive, not inspirational. When something good happens to you, they may feign happiness, but deep down, they’re fuming with jealousy. They’re not inspired by your success; instead, they’re resentful of it. They secretly wish you hadn’t succeeded, and their ultimate goal is to bring you down to their level or beneath them. If they ever get the chance to bring you down, they’ll gladly take it without hesitation.
They will try to get close to you, to compare their lives to yours, for any hint that they may be left behind. Be cautious. The saying “keep your friends close and your enemies closer” is a load of nonsense—lose them ASAP!
Seek out: True Cheerleaders—those who genuinely celebrate your success and encourage you to keep climbing higher. They will be with you when things get tough and will help you reach your goals with support and positivity.
Quote: “Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you believe that you too can become great.” – Mark Twain
Scripture: “A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.” – King Solomon in Proverbs 14:30
Quote: “Jealousy is the tribute mediocrity pays to genius.” – Fulton J. Sheen
9. The Eternal Miserable Ones / The Ungrateful
This category of people is the most draining of all. No matter how many blessings they have, they are never satisfied. They carry a dark cloud of negativity wherever they go, spreading discouraging and demoralizing information. When you’re feeling happy and grateful, they’ll find a way to drag you down into their pit of despair, reminding you of everything that could go wrong.
These individuals are constantly dissatisfied, regardless of what they have in life. You’ll often hear them say, “F*** My Life,” as if they’re forever stuck in a loop of bad news and complaints. Even in moments of joy, they’ll pinpoint the one flaw or negative aspect, pulling you back down to their level of misery.
Seek out: Grateful Souls—those who radiate positivity and gratitude for the blessings in their lives. They inspire you to see the good in every situation and encourage you to keep moving forward.
Quote 1: “Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues but the parent of all others.” – Cicero
Quote 2: “Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” and “Gratitude turns what we have into enough.” – Melody Beattie
10. The Un-Coachable Folks
These individuals believe they know it all and that they’ve reached the pinnacle of their field. They operate under the assumption that they have nothing left to learn and that others could learn much from them, but they, in turn, have no room for growth. Such people resist new ideas, shy away from stepping out of their comfort zones, and don’t seek opportunities for further education or self-improvement.
Seek out: Lifelong Learners—those who remain humble, curious, and eager to grow, regardless of how much they already know. They understand that true wisdom comes from recognizing how much there is still to learn, and they actively seek out new knowledge and experiences.
Scripture: “The way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice.” – King Solomon in Proverbs 12:15
Quote 1: “In any given moment, we have two options: to step forward into growth or to step back into safety.” — Abraham Maslow
Quote 2: “The more I learn, the more I realize how much I don’t know.” — Albert Einstein
Quote 3: “True knowledge exists in knowing that you know nothing.” — Socrates
Final Thoughts
Dear friend, remember: the company you keep can either lift you higher or weigh you down. Guard your energy, protect your dreams, and surround yourself with those who inspire you to become the best version of yourself. Life is too short to waste on toxic relationships with people who drain your spirit and stunt your growth.
If you ever find yourself questioning the presence of someone in your life, trust your intuition. Never be afraid to cut ties or distance yourself from those who don’t align with your values or support your path. For personalized advice tailored to your unique situation, visit WiseHema.com. Hema is here to guide you, offering 24/7 support to help you navigate life’s challenges with wisdom and grace.
If you found this blog helpful, consider taking our quiz, “Toxic Alert: Is It Time to Cut Them Off?”. This quiz is designed to empower you with the knowledge and tools needed to stay vigilant, recognize the red flags, and take control of your relationships.
Until next time, stay strong, stay wise, and keep shining your light!
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